One of our great joys in life at present is watching the development of our nearly two year old granddaughter. I am fast learning that being a grandparent is almost better than being a parent. And it’s not just because you don’t have the downside of the 24/7 care or the corny cliché, “You can give them back!” In any case that hardly applies for us, living in the UK as we do, with our granddaughter living in Texas. No, it runs deeper than that, even for us Skype families.
So what is it that primes this pump of emotion?
That’s something that I have been giving some thought, and the only way I can explain it is by what I would call “the pride of progress.” Of course the family ties make it more special, but I believe it is more primal and universal than that: it is actually an instinctive response. There is simply something so enthralling, so energising and exhilarating in watching people develop.
In his book, “Drive”, Daniel Pink identifies the 3 great intrinsic motivators as autonomy, mastery and purpose. You don’t, however, need wide-scale social studies to understand this. For first hand proof you have only to watch a toddler. From the day they take their first steps they are constantly looking to break away from their parents’ supporting hands and run off on their own. As soon as they can talk, their battle cry is “I can do it!”
And their glee when they achieve what they set out to do is something to behold; spontaneous, joyful and infectious.
The thing is, that joy of achievement is infectious. And it doesn’t just happen when we watch our children or grandchildren. Otherwise why watch sport or go to concerts? Why do we become fans and root for champions or stick up for the plucky underdog? We don’t only feel good about our ‘personal’ success. Yes, we all want to always do our best, from our own efforts, and have those efforts appreciated, but there is a vicarious pleasure in others’ achievements. Because this is a bilateral process.
If we are unable to appreciate others’ efforts we cannot expect them to appreciate ours. William James was absolutely right when he said, “The greatest of human needs is the need for appreciation.” Naturally like any good truism, this has a corollary: namely “Nobody ever sets out to do a bad job.” And effectively that is all Pink is saying.
Which begs another question. If nobody ever sets out to do a bad job, why do we need to spend so much time and effort controlling how people do/did their work?
That possibly wouldn’t matter if it didn’t have a real downside. The more you focus on regulations, rules and performance measures, the more you take away people’s autonomy. It’s no wonder then that employee engagement is such an issue. Your focus on management means you are moving away from the leadership that inspires and failing to give your people the sense of autonomy, mastery and purpose that engenders engagement. You are removing the intrinsic building blocks of appreciation, and that destroys the capability to truly feel good about what you do.
So there is a need to go back to, and draw on, the lessons we get from our children and grandchildren. We need to rekindle greater appreciation, replenish the “pride of progress” and restore our own sense of achievement. So throw out your rule-books and reduce your over-reliance on performance measures and the minimising manacles they create. Paradoxically, they not only demean the potential of your employees, but they also diminish you; your satisfaction, your leadership and, ultimately, your legacy.